The Roddenberries
TOS (lyrics by Gene Roddenberry, Intro by Beth Kellner)
Science fiction cabaret: the grooviest frontier
These are the musical voyages of our star band: The Roddenberries
Our ongoing mission:
To explore strange, new parodies
To seek out new fans, and new cabaret cultures
To boldly go where no star band has gone before!
(Bones, Kirk, Chekov, Spock!)
Beyond the rim of the starlight
My love is wandering in star flight
I know he'll find in star-clustered reaches
Love, sweet love a star woman preaches
I know his journey ends never
His Star Trek will go on forever
But tell him while he's wandering his starry seas
Remember... remember me
(Bones, Kirk, Chekov, Spock!)
Gonna Live Not Die (Original song & lyrics by Charles Napier, Craig Robertson & Arthur Heinemann)
Lookin' for the good land
Goin' astray
Don't cry, don't cry...
Oh, I can have honey
And I can have cream!
Gonna live, not die
Gonna live, not die
Stand in the middle of it all one day
Look at it shining all around me and say,
"I'm here, oh, I'm here!
In the good land, in the new land, I'm here"
Stand in the middle of it all one day
Look at it shining all around me and say,
"I'm here, oh, I'm here,
In the good land, in the new land, I'm here"
Prrressure (lyrics by Beth Kellner)
Not on my watch
I could use a scotch
I could some scotch…WHISKEY!
Prrressure, pushing down on me
Repairs will take six hours, but I’ve only got three
It’s a stresser
The circuits overload
It splits my kilt in two
Jeopardizes our crew
Captain, up your shaft!
You know I know this craft
Have you gone daft? Have you gone daft?
Hold together, man!
It’s a headache knowing what this ship’s all about
The transporter’s down, but "Scotty, Beam us out!”
"Not good enough, Scott, do it now or you’re out of a job!"
Oh my bairns!
Oh my poor bairns
Aye, sir!
I know this ship like the back of my hand
Captain Kirk, I'm working as fast as I can!
They’re gonna blow us up
They're gonna blow us up
We're gonna blow up!
Aye, sir
Ship has needs – gotta meet’em, meet’em
Kirk has needs – gotta meet’em, meet’em
The only way to stop it is to eject the warp core
We’re running out of time, but "Scotty– give me more!"
Maybe next crisis he’ll give me more time...
Power leak has unbalanced the ship
And the Enterprise is starting to drift
"Scotty figure this out or we’re all going to die"
But I’m givin’ her all she’s got! (I need more, more, more...)
"You’ve got to do better, don’t you crack under pressure"
And the engines are much too strained
Dylithium crystals are almost drained
Just give me a wee bit, wee bit, wee bit, wee bit, wee bit, wee bit more time!
It’s not luck, and sometimes you’ve got to break the rules
And beat the Kobayashi Maru
We’ll blow in ten minutes
I've to change the laws of physics
Do whatever it takes
Punch the warp drive, cut the brakes
This is our last chance
This is engineering … under prrressure
Under prrressure
Prrressure
Funeral For a Vulcan (lyrics by Beth Kellner)
Oh, Spock
Why'd you have to die?
You didn't have to sacrifice yourself just to save the Enterprise
You said, "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few"
And now, the one
Now the ship's out of danger
But you're out of time
I can't even watch that scene 'cause it always makes me cry
Oh, Spock
Why'd you have to die?
Spock's Hand (lyrics by Ned Sonstein)
Spock's Hand
Why do you pinch me so damn tight?
Your hand's a weapon
Turns my body off just like a light
Spock's Hand
You don't have to pinch my neck tonight
No emotions allowed here
There'll be no laughing or smiling, that's right
Spock's Hand
Why do you pinch me so damn tight?
Spock's Hand
Why do you pinch me so damn tight?
Spock's hand (you pinch me so damn tight)
Spock...
Don't push away Uhura
You know she wants to do ya
You have to tell her just how you feel
Or she's gonna hook up with Bones McCoy
Your Vulcan ears point straight up
We know it's only makeup
Tell us once, please don't tell us again
Logic's your way
Spock's Hand
Why do you pinch me so damn tight?
Spock's Hand
Why do you pinch me so damn tight?
Spock's hand (you pinch me so damn tight)
Spock's hand (you don't have to pinch me so damn tight)
Spock
That's Space (lyrics by Michael Baldwin)
Yeah, that's space
The final frontier
We're out here on a mission, baby
Gonna last five years
But if I boldly go where no man has gone before
I might be back, might be back in four
Yeah, that's space
And as funny as it seems
Some people get their kicks
Shootin' phaser beams
But I don't let it get me down
'Cause this fine old starship keeps flyin' around
I deal with Klingons and Vulcans and Hortas and Tribbles,
and Romulans too
I beam up and down and over and out until I'm blue
But each time I find myself with some alien race
I sit myself down and I assimilate
That's space
And I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cuttin' out,
But Star Fleet ain't gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth a single try
I'd jump on a shuttle craft, then I'd fly...
I deal with Klingons and Vulcans and Hortas and Tribbles, and Romulans too
I beam up and down and over and out until I'm blue
And each time I find myself with some alien race
I sit myself down and I assimilate
That's space
And I can't deny it
Many times I've thought of cuttin' out
Kirk ain't gonna buy it
And if that ain't enough to make a grown man cry
I'm gonna dress myself up
I'm gonna dress myself up
I'm gonna dress myself up
In a red shirt
And die
Terok N'Or (lyrics by Scott R. Johnston)
Deep Space Nine was once Terok N'Or
Now it's Deep Space Nine, not Terok N'Or
Many star dates gone since old Terok N'Or
Saw Cardassian blows on a Bajoran's nose
Every Gorn that lives on Deep Space Nine
Knows it's Deep Space Nine, not Terok N'Or
So if you want to go to Terok N'Or
You'd better start at Deep Space Nine
Even the Klingon race
Once had no ridges on their face
Why'd they change it, I can't say
It's too late to ask Gene Roddenberry
Take me back to old Terok N'Or
No you can't go back to old Terok N'Or
So it's Deep Space Nine, not Terok N'Or
Why'd the name Terok N'Or never work?
The Klingons accuse Captain Kirk
Deep Space Nine
Terok N'Or
In Mr. Spock's first draft
He was half Martian, and he laughed
And number One was a chick, I swear that's true
But don't ask Pike, he just beeps at you
Take me back in time to Terok N'Or
There's a worm-hole there
What the hell is it for?
Now it's Deep Space Nine, not Terok N'Or
There's no blood wine there for you and me
The Klingons accuse the Ferengi
Deep Space Nine